“All that we are is a result of what we have thought.” – Buddha.
First, we must learn to love ourselves. We can’t attract loving people into our lives unless we love who we are. This means practicing healthy self-love, which includes healthy inner dialogue, healthy self-esteem and healthy boundaries. We must learn to say no to things which do not promote our highest good, and to say yes to the things that allow us to maximize our potential. We must talk to ourselves as if we are an invaluable friend. Many people have an internal critic that sounds like a scorned lover. Stop that. Replace the hyper-critical internal dialogue with words that are nurturing and supportive.
Second, have a vision for the type of relationships you would like to attract to you. Be as specific as possible. Creating a vision board can help. Years ago I was single and wanted a partner. I created a vision board which contained several positive, affirming statements. One of them was, “I am now attracting my perfect life partner to me.” Another was a picture of the Eiffel Tower with the statement, “Any destination is easily within reach.” Without effort, I met the man who was to become my husband. We met and fell in love against seemingly impossible odds. He is my perfect partner in that we complement each other intellectually, spiritually, and emotionally. We have been together for four years now and we have had very little conflict during that time, and we thoroughly love and enjoy one another. Oh, and we went to Paris on our honeymoon, and ate street crepes under the Eiffel Tower.
Third, focus on being happy in the here and now. Don’t wait until your perfect loving partner arrives on the scene to be happy. Do what you can to be happy in the present. If you are happy, you are more likely to attract happy and functional people into your life. “Happiness is not a destination, it is a method of life.” – Burton Hills. While no one is always happy, you can and should make the choice to deal with your negative emotions with love and kindness, and then put your attention on things that bring you genuine joy. Life is not understanding enough to wait for you to find more love. Life is happening whether you are ready for it or not, so don’t wait. Live in the here and now, and make the choice to live as happily as possible. Love yourself, love your life. Change what you need to change in order to live happily today; and have a vision for the love-filled life you would like to create.
“Your imagination is your preview of life’s coming attractions.” – Albert Einstein